Thursday, 28 October 2010

Football Cliches

Football is a beautiful game - a sport that captivates its core following every minute of every hour of every day. And like all things bright and beautiful, Football has its very own cliches and recognised catchphrases that football purists have heard time and time again.

Kicking off the football clinches feature is an old favourite:

"It's a game of two halves" said the optimistic commentator
More a fact than a turn of phrase, the it's a game of two halves quote has been around for years. Often used to console football fans who have seen their side go 3-0 down whilst being outplayed and outwitted for 45 minutes, it's just a way of injecting a little hope into those who have none and that the second half can only get better.

"He's the first at the training ground and last to leave" - said the proud Gaffa
When a player is in a rich vain of form, their managers are often quick to heap further praise on their in form star, citing the familiar "He is marvellous to work with. He loves the game. He's the first on the training pitch every morning and the last to leave" phrase, which is fine when used the first time around. But, when the same manager praises a different player in the same vain later during the season, then there an inaccuracy or two such a statement.

'The Empire is crumbling' - wrote the moronic journalist
If any top class team such as Chelsea, Man United or Arsenal dare to lose or even draw a game then their entire ability to compete for the Premier League crown immediately comes in to question. Any points dropped by the 'big four' gives the English press a rare chance to churn out their The Empire is crumbling doom and gloom stories.

"I did not see it" - said the man in broken English with a French twang
To his credit, Arsene Wenger is not the only football manager to coin the I didn't see it quote, although he does seem to use the infamous phrase more than most. Any time an important decision has been questioned during a post match interview, these days managers are reluctant to fess up about the fact that their players have taken a theatrical tumbled in the penalty area in order to win a crafty penalty.

"We've got the three points..." - said the player with little else to say
Post match interviews are rarely finely articulated and detailed accounts of the events that happened during the course of a match, but it seems if ever footballers are stuck for an analytical musing, they throw in the famous line 'We've got the three points, which is what's most important'. Liverpool's Jamie Carragher is probably not alone when using a variation of the three points phrase after a cup match!

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